Too much built up stress
I have a bad habit of bottling up my feelings.
I didn't realize how bad until one night in November. It was like any other night, nothing was out of place. My parents had left to go out and I was at home babysitting my younger sibilings.
After they went to bed I took a shower and laid down. I closed my eyes to rest when all the sudden my ears felt hot and I started to feel dizzy.
I thought to myself, maybe I just need a drink of water. I walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and I felt my body getting heavier. I felt disconnected from reality and very disoriented. The world around me felt unreal so I quickly laid back down again. The symtoms worsened , I felt like I was going to faint and my heart started racing. Frightened, I called my parents. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
I don't remember how long it took them to get back but It seemed like forever. The whole time I was laying down waiting for them, my knees felt a hundred pounds. I literally thought I was going to die.
When they came they were totally freaked out which made me freak out even more. I explained my symptoms to my parents and told them everything. Being that my mom is a nurse she checked my vitals and said everything was fine. I was still flipping out so I started trembling to the point where it felt uncontrollable.
My mom said those were symptoms of a full blown panic attack. My dad sat beside me on the bed rubbing my head to calm my nerves. I felt the urge to cry, so I did. I cried and cried not because of the panic attack but because I let myself get to the point of the panic attack.
I realized how much stress and sadness I'd let pile up inside. I have never had a panic attack that severe in my life. My dad sat with me for an hour and a half until finally I calmed down. So I say to you all, talk about your feelings. Bottling them up is unheathly and it might lead to a night of misery.