i feel like the sky is falling
I would say the foundation of my anxiety began when my brother passed away, I was 16. It was hard to show any emotions when I was so young. Ten years later, my dad passed and it was a strong reminder of how powerless I am in this world.
There's no way to stop tears from falling, no words that can comfort my family's broken hearts. That's when the despair kicked in, it's hard to accept that there are somethings in life we have no control over. So when these natural disasters start happening, things I cannot control. I start to freak out. I want to hide, so I do. I feel like the "hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil" has meaning like never before. Deep down I feel like I'm just waiting to die, it's this inevitable stage that I'm just waiting to get to. As soon as I come to this realization, I want to come out of hiding, I want to enjoy these moments that I have left before death. I want to be happy.
This might not be a very inspiring message but it's from my heart.